What you need to be a beauty queen – Miss Institutes
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In a very refreshing way, she is using her reign to redefine the role of beauty queens and establish the fact that beauty should be used to make other people beautiful and impact them in ways that advance society.
Interestingly, Miss Institutes Nigeria Pageant was initiated by Fanafillit Integrated Concepts to enhance unity and social interactions amongst students of all tertiary institutions in the country.
Long before she emerged as Miss Institutes, Nkiru had taken part in other pageants like Miss Bellview in Asaba, Miss Coal City 2010 as well as Miss Valentine 2012, where she finished among the first 10 contestants that reached the final rounds. Nkiru put in all the experience she acquired from the earlier unsuccessful attempts into the contest for Miss Institutes. Then the God Factor clicked in for her and she emerged victorious and crowned queen. In this interview, she talks about the experience, the good
moments and the challenges young ladies face from men who try to take advantage of them. Excerpts…
What would you say made it possible for you to win the contest?
I love this question. This life is not all about looks or how beautiful you are. Most people don’t understand that beauty pageant is not just about beauty. People will always say, ‘Ah, that girl is not beautiful, why did she win?’ It’s about acknowledging God first and foremost; when you have God’s favour you’ll please the judges very well and you’ll please the audience. You will be able to perform very well, and people will just say that the girl is exceptional. Secondly, there is the issue of confidence; there are lots of young girls who don’t have confidence in themselves; they don’t believe in themselves and the ability to think outside the box – look at issues differently from how other people think; you need to answer your questions very well. There are girls who are very intelligent but when they go there they just see themselves saying things they are not supposed to say. So in essence, I would say that you must have the favour of God, believe in yourself and do everything you are supposed to do well on stage. You must answer intelligently if not you can’t get anywhere; if you are not intelligent, if you’re not God fearing and confident you can’t get anywhere as a beauty pageant. For me, I think my ability to be different and to be creative must have given me the edge. I don’t do things just the way other people do; I always try to find another way of doing the same thing, that’s me. I always want to be different; I love to be creative.
What has the experience been like since you became the Miss Institutes beauty queen?
It’s been great, it’s also been very challenging because one has the duty of getting people to understand the purpose of the Miss Institutes Beauty Pageant, particularly considering that this is the maiden edition. Unlike the older pageants, people did not know much about it.
So, it’s been difficult getting assistance from people in respect of the pet project that I am working on right now. I believe my pet project, ‘Strategic Transformation Agenda for Regeneration’ was what gave me an edge over other contestants. The project is geared towards empowering youths especially students; there are different sections of youths, but we are focusing on students in tertiary institutions. Towards this, I organized a four-day conference on youth empowerment through vocational training and skill acquisition. There was supposed to be a symposium after the conference. But I didn’t get to hold the symposium because of lack of resources; I could not get sponsors, but I didn’t let that deter me. Instead I held a one-day leadership conference in Lagos for leaders of student union governments in tertiary institutions. We had about 50 delegates from schools across the country and there were great speakers who threw more light on what true leadership is all about and how we could achieve a better leadership.
I have not really been able to achieve what I wanted to do as the reigning queen. With the grace of God I am hoping to be able to do it before my reign ends. So I want use this medium to urge people to support my efforts and partner with me. Through our collective efforts, I believe much more can be achieved for the benefit of our youths and the good of the general society. I must also note that striking a balance between the requirements of my office and my academic pursuits has not been easy. My school is so strict that no matter who you are you have to attend lectures at least 75 per cent and you really have to prove that you are a student. It wasn’t easy combining the two, because one could not cut corners. As a queen I am required to visit people, companies while also ensuring that I remain in good standing in terms of academics. So it’s been very challenging, but I thank God, who has made it all possible for me to give my best.
How did you get into beauty pageantry in the first place?
Many of my friends still wonder why I got involved in beauty pageants, because a good number of them are just not excited by beauty pageant stuff. Some of them even ask me ‘Is it that you think you are beautiful?. I just respond that it’s a way I feel I can use the talent given to me by God. I believe I have talents and pageants are good platforms for me to use my talent very well. Talent could mean the beauty; talent could mean the intelligence, it could also mean the ability to get people to work for you; the ability to make people love you. I have one thing going for me: the ability to make people stay with me, love me; anytime you come close to me you feel relaxed. Since I have all these abilities, I said must put them to good use to make people happy because I have always wanted to live a happy life and at the same time make others happy. So that’s the urge; also I watch fashion television a lot, and I was always excited about the glamour and the way beauty queens are treated. I wanted to be like the people I saw on fashion television and be treated like them. I want to really enjoy the glamour and different things associated with it; not just the glamour, but the service too. Once I see that I have really served the society through this platform, I am going to stop. My mission is to make people recognize that pageants are not just about beauty, but it’s more about using one’s beauty to make other people beautiful. That’s just it and that’s what I want to do; and if I see that where I am now has not made me to achieve that dream I will go for another one that will make that dream come through.
Has this changed your life in anyway?
Becoming a beauty queen has not really affected my private life. Rather, it has made me more responsible and better organized. I get to manage my time very well, think ahead on what I should do in order to help myself, help my office and help the society at large. I excommunicated a lot of people not because of who I am now but there was not much time to do all I should do so I selected the most important things in order of priority.
Apart from that nothing has really changed about me; I am the same person. Are you in a relationship now?
That’s confidential. Whether I have or not I think it is immaterial. If people want to know they should wait, they will soon find out.
What are your plans for the future?
For now, I want to give my best as pageant queen; anytime I feel I have given my best I won’t contest further. Let’s just leave it at that for now. I don’t know whether I will go for more contests or not, but as it is now I want to watch where I am first after that, by the time I must have handed over I can then decide whether to go again or not.
What advice do you have for other young ladies aspiring to become beauty queens?
The first thing is that they shouldn’t just look at the material aspect of beauty pageant. They must have a strictly defined goal for going into the contest. You may not really feel fulfilled after getting the money and other material gains, because there would be something lacking. Money is not everything; money is essential, money is good but they should not just go for the money but should be able to set an agenda of what they want to achieve with the crown. They should take their pet projects seriously and work for the society.
This is important because gone are those days when beauty queens were taken as people to be used to make money for the organizers. It’s an opportunity that must be used for the good of the larger society. Secondly, they should believe in themselves; I know it’s not easy going through the pageant processes: cat-walking; answering questions, having a lot of people gaze at you and all the stress of camping. But you must focus on the goal you want to achieve and believe that can make it. You must really say no to your fears, put faith in God, have confidence in yourself and you can achieve anything. When I look at people that have achieved it I say these people must have passed through a lot of challenges but they kept going; they worked hard, believed in God and said one day it’s going to be good and it’s going to be better.
But the sad truth is that a lot of people don’t want to work these days. You hear the ladies say, ‘I just want to get married to a lovely husband that is rich.’ But the issue is that a man will respect you more when you are intelligent, have something to offer, not just to him but the society. When people say that you are good, the man will be proud of you. After a while beauty fades, and that is what people do not know; the only time you know that beauty does not fade is when you have that beauty in your heart and you make people beautiful.
It is said that pageant contestants sleep with organizers. What is your take on this?
I have heard this quite often. It happens, but not like it used to. A lot of people have come to understand that when you sleep with someone to win and the person gets there and does not do well the audience will not be happy. Of course the pageant will get a bad reputation; so that’s why they don’t really do it. Does it happen? Yes, it does. But personally, I have not really experienced that in any pageant; nobody has ever proposed such nonsense to me in any pageant I featured in. But I have had cases of men wanting to sleep with me because I needed assistance in some way concerning what I am doing. Not in pageants, but in modeling. It is a nuisance every girl has to deal with. Every girl needs to learn how to say no and mean it. I don’t really blame the men. To some extent I blame the ladies, because when you are approached with such proposal and you turn it down firmly, nobody will kill you.
One thing we must understand is that if one has something to offer, if you are unique, if you are different you will always do well, you will always be sought after. But when people don’t want to be patient, you want to get it so fast, you don’t want to work hard, you don’t want to go through the right way, you want everything so fast, that’s when people come to you with such offers. But when they see that you are principled, that you really want to stand for something they will not even approach you. Even if they come and you tell them no, they will feel somehow but they will appreciate you more.
I have had so many experiences, so many of them. In modeling I had an experience, where I had almost concluded a contract, it was a big one that could have changed my life. But at a point the man said, ‘Can I entertain him? I said I didn’t understand what he meant, because I am the type of person that really calls a spade a spade and not agricultural implement. So when he said ‘entertain’ I told him didn’t understand; he then said, can I go down with you? I still said I didn’t get it. When he finally came out straight, I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I really needed the contract and if he wanted me to execute it I would be glad to handle it, but there was no way I would do what he asked for. Well, I lost the contract; I felt bad because it was really a big contract.
I started wondering if that was how other girls got theirs because I have gotten series of such indecent proposals, so many that I have lost count. Most times when I really want something from men they just tell me they want to sleep with me. So I just leave it there and say well that’s life. But I always try to turn those things into positives and that’s what has kept me going. When you say no to me I say, well, you could say no to me; I would like to do things that could put me in a position for you to come to me.
I want to help young ladies because many of them do not have the patience to turn down indecent proposals from men. I want to be in a position to make decisions that will positively affect young ladies and I believe that with God I am going to get there and when I get there I will try to help them. I will tell them that when you say no the world has not ended for you.
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